apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
