she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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