what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
