But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
