I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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