yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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