Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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