we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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