My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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