David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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