You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
