you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
