they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
