My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
