stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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