is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
