"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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