I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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