We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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