My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
