this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
