very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
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I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
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I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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