a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
