No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
