Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
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Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
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I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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