i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
