Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.