Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
