I love having hate sex.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
