He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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