what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
