forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
