this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize