so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
