They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
