They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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