Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
