If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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