I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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