Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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