I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
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But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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