In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
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i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
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we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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