Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
