Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
