im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
