I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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