Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
