I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
