Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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