It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
