Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
