OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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