he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
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I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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