tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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