shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
