I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
