Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
